do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
