Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
