I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
