okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
