Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Randomize
