I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
