you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize