if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize