I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
