I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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