When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Randomize
