I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
