So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize