shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
