he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
