On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
