I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
