Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
