Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
