You're so nebulous sometimes
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
