She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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