That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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