Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
