saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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