I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
