Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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