school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
