i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
