whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
