Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
