i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
