when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
