Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
