Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
