Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
