I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
