Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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