I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
