part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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