these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
