I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
pop tarts are not kleenex
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
