You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Ladies don't puke and tell
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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