She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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