OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
