We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
