You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
