Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize