Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
