he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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