And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
