Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
