I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
