she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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