i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Barsexuality is the new black.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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