I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize