More tranny stories later!
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
