Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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