New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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