There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
he laminated a picture of his dick.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
