you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Come see our sink grown plant.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize