i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
it was like his penis was on wheels.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
