What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
