the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
kristin has been a bad kristin
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
