thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
