i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
