hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
